BeerDiablo
Tales of Beer-Fueled Mayhem
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Tuesday, December 15th, 2009

Well…You’re In Irving Texas

Ms.Ed took the department out to a holiday dinner tonight, an Italian joint chosen for its price.
I hate restaurants where the food is equal or lesser than what you could do at home. The wine wasn’t the
wood-plank fest that was last year but I took it easy on that, as vino isn’t my thing.

I could've sworn the director's wife passed gas as she left the table. Maybe it was the chair?

Here’s what I graciously put on my manager’s xmas card:
Whether strategic or by random chance, may your lump of coal end up in someone else's stocking.

Man, do these memes just get worse...
On the twelfth day of Christmas, beerdiablo sent to me...
Twelve knives drumming
Eleven westerns piping
Ten mainframes a-boxing
Nine darts writing
Eight texas a-cooking
Seven computers a-running
Six books a-reading
Five gu-u-u-uns
Four weird westerns
Three drum machines
Two william burroughs
...and an industrial in a comedy.
Get your own Twelve Days:
mood: annoyed
music: Deathspell Omega - Blessed Are The Dead Whiche Dye In The Lorde
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Tuesday, December 1st, 2009

Singing, Yes, Singing in The Rain

The return day at InfiddlevestCorp isn’t surreal by standard but since my department’s “feed everyone” potluck was today, it couldn’t
be helped. It was the usual crappy side dishes but at least someone brought some decent rigatoni and meatballs.

Lay-offs are a rumor-fueled communiqué as the official policy is there are to be no postings or the cuts talked about. But it always
gets out and sure enough there was a small body count today. Xmas bonuses are due and numbers have to be made. I won’t miss
those laid-off that I knew.

Earlier this evening, while pulling out of CM’s parking lot with dinner, there was a black lady, dancing in the cold rain, praising Jesus.
I wiped my eyes –just to be sure- you can’t make this shit up.

Time to drink a pumpkin imperial stout and ruminate on things.
mood: hazy sinus headache
music: Thelonious Monk - Bright Mississippi
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Friday, November 20th, 2009

Freedom to the Third Power

I have a three-day weekend due to working this past weekend and don’t have much planned due to the lack
of “happenings” in DFW and that’s fine by me because…

Not Dead…But Dreaming
Last night, I went to bed at 10:20pm and finally arose about 8:30am. Sure, I woke up a couple of times but I refuse to
get out of bed if there’s not deadline or start time looming. I needed some sleep and lots of it as evidenced
by the two-hour afternoon nap.

I’ll continue to recoup through the weekend and next week with the holiday. Normally, I’d be on-call but Ms.Ed assigned
Butch-the-Temp to this since he’s a temp brought in to relieve the regular staff from suffering during a holiday week.
Temps get paid by the hour so I don’t feel sorry for him.

Bonus: I hear the InfiddleVestCorp procurement group isn’t doing much end-of-the-year negotiating which means
that 2010 might provide a civilized for work life.
mood: Drinking Beer
music: Borgia - Habemus Papam
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Monday, November 16th, 2009

111609 Self-Deprivation Day Six

Twenty-four hours left and then I taste Xanadu in beer form. The break-fast beer, which is always tasty. Not sure of what
it will be though Sierra Nevada’s Celebration is frontrunner. I’ll see where the day takes me but I'll keep it at two since
it's early in the week.

Things are calm at work now that Paul-Tango-Raunchy is live. I might even get some things out of the way that have been
bugging me since March/April. Yeah, yeah…I don’t let go…it’s what I do.
mood: thirsty
music: Numina - Recluse
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Saturday, November 14th, 2009

111409 Self-Deprivation Day Four

Once again, you’re having fun and I’m not. No beer for the past four days and this extends into next week.

I resisted getting after finishing up at work. Why?

Before going further with troubleshooting an important device, I pointed out a flaw in the plan to Ms.Ed. Now, technically we’d be
reducing the “bulletproofing” as opposed to the redundancy, yet it was obvious that we hadn’t thought everything out the day before.
[what a difference medicine and a night’s sleep makes]

It’s Just a Step to the Left
“We can’t repair or replace this configuration item if a problem is encountered or found/caused like our normal process,
which entails a vendor be either onsite during or within two hours with parts available –this isn’t in place and wouldn’t be for days/week.”

“Just check this, check that…”

Now I ran this by enough people, including Big Blue to have witnesses before I proceeded. I hate the possibility of
introducing more complexity to a problem. Pain management, if you will. [approved change control ticket in hand as well]

We got lucky and everything that was touched, came back.
mood: thirsty
music: Borgia - Albedo (Le Jardin Des Plaisirs)
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Sunday, November 8th, 2009

State of BeerDiablo Address

This year, it’s obvious work has been getting in the way of beer/metal/etc. though this isn’t anything new but for this year,
I’m way down in hijinx, schemes, etc.

The rest of year looks to be better with Project Paul-Tango-Raunchy’s major milestone going live next weekend.

After that point, I’ll be on “easy street” for the rest of the year with Butch-the-Temp taking the bulk of my on-call due to being
off for Thanksgiving and year-end slowdown/freezes.

First, I’ve got to “come to” in order to get things in perspective.
mood: hopeful
music: Dead Can Dance - Anywhere Out Of The World
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Monday, November 2nd, 2009

Fires in the West

Chatted with Madre and PadreDiablo this evening to catch up.

Due to his International influence, PadreDiablo once again assumes diplomatic duties at this year’s Terlingua International Chili Championship.
Very important stuff you know – things like drinking beer and eating chili while watching topless women cavort about the campgrounds.
I doubt these ladies qualify as Playboy material but it’s the principle…

Meanwhile, Back in the Greater Hell
I’m stuck at work with the punishment of puppeteering/shepherding Butch-the-Temp, who’s acting as weekend manager
for this weekend’s changes at InfiddlevestCorp. It's like doing it all myself but with a lombotomized imp disturbing the productivity.
No weekend plans yet but I think it will entail beer at some point.

A desert vacation would be great [last time was in 2001] and Terlingua would be nice to visit when it’s not crowded.
Better add this to the list for next year. There’s always the Indian Lodge in Ft.Davis.
mood: depressed
music: Embryonic Devourment - Self Inflicted Cesarean
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Saturday, October 31st, 2009

¿I Can Has Cheese-Booger?

Driving home from InfiddlevestCorp’s datacenter, I saw a woman in a cat costume that was picking her nose while driving.
Yes, I almost wrecked due to the laughter.

Yet somehow, after dealing with work –I’m not that festive for this hallowed eve. Having Butch-the-Temp to back you up is
pretty much working by yourself.

Time for a beer.
mood: annoyed
music: Creeping - The Reckoning
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Tuesday, October 27th, 2009

Manhole Fire 101

Backhoe incidents are common in IT – someone digs up and breaks a fiber optic route, severing connections to other sites.
No network/data connectivity. Truly, darkened fiber.

Unprotected Circuit$ – What Do You Expect
InfiddlevestCorp, being the cursed entity that it is, encountered a new occurrence in my career [others as well] in the form of a
manhole fire this past Saturday going into Sunday. Being “offline” I didn’t get pulled into the fire.

I found this interesting as to how it could occur and here’s a nice, short explanation [barring napalm wielding madcaps and/or the supernatural].

There is no end to the bizarre, monkey wrench celebration that is my current paycheck.
mood: apathetic
music: Enshadowed - Hell's Reality - Recognize
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Tuesday, October 20th, 2009

Ms.Ed Needs Help or Lets Go [You Choose]

Today my manager, Ms.Ed, let us know that starting immediately she would be:
1. Working from home on Wednesdays
2. Be on vacation this Thursday and Friday
3. Monday, Wednesday and Friday nights: if escalation is needed, we’re to call her boss, Weird Herald.

Project Paul-Tango-Raunchy Claims Another
For the past couple of months, her micromanagement has been dying off. She was sick for a week, and then aborted a week’s vacation
due to all the chaos –which reins at this time.

She’s pretty out of it and needs to disconnect. I’m pretty sure her house is a wreck, just like her desk, her car, etc…
[At one time she paid someone to clean her house and do laundry]. Her life is wrecked too, like the rest of the staff’s.

Weird Herald is one of those, sensitive, understanding managers but I don’t think he took it well when she didn’t give him
one “go-to person” for the group while she’s out. He’s supposed to talk with specific individuals depending on what the issue or project item status is.

Looks kind of disorganized, eh? He’ll see it for the mess it is but I don’t know if that’s going to change much.
Current events will be blamed rather than a lack of management/supervision. It doesn’t matter; the work always gets done
–just not in a sensible way, which screws with my sense of order.
mood: hopped up on sinus speed
music: Numina - Ocean Eyes Deeper
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Monday, October 12th, 2009

101209 Release from Captivity

Sunday yielded a couple early evening calls but most important that there were none disrupting the circadian rhythm.
I kind of slept normal but once you’re deep into being on-call, it’s kind of a light combat sleep, where little things
can wake you immediately.

Tonight, covers will be pulled up, pillows embraced and the dead dreamt with.

Now the machines call someone else to say they’re broken…

mood: tired
music: Steve Roach - Spiral Triptych
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Sunday, October 11th, 2009

101109 Day 7 of Captivity

Sniper shot phone calls. That’s the emergent theme for this tour of duty. Almost every night I’ve gotten one call at a bad point
in the sleep cycle and they tend to keep me engaged for about 45-80 minutes. My slumber is off but I’ve had worse.

Early this morning, at 04:17 Ops called and that lasted nearly an hour with me unable to resolve a couple of boxed
virtual drives due to HMC’s not being able to log on into service mode remotely– not so for other locations. That will be remedied this week.

Sunday's House Call
After lunch, I made a quick trip to the datacenter and fixed it. It’s been years since I used a master console [not bringing in
laptop for 15 min of work] – funky and fast. I still prefer a TSO session.

One more night to go and my shadow, Butch, didn’t get hit too hard this weekend. I’m sure once he’s in the rotation that
living hell doses will be nicely administered.

Now to bide my time until the machines call me to say they’re broken.
mood: calm
music: Bathory - Blooded Shore
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Saturday, October 10th, 2009

101009 Day 6 of Captivity

One easily dealt with call but sleep is still a bit off, certainly not normal.

It’s a nice break to stay in place on Saturday and not be in the datacenter. I continue reading on investing due to my frustration on not putting more money into opportunities I’ve seen. I blame work for taking the focus away.

My penchant for mindless free time is also to blame but one must clear central storage as a matter of maintenance.

Now to bide my time until the machines call me to say they’re broken.
mood: thoughtful
music: Underworld: Rise of the Lycans
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Friday, October 9th, 2009

100909 Day 5 of Captivity

Two calls but I slept like a normal person due to cool, rainy weather.
Very mellow day to work from home and by work from home, I mean I did the bare minimum.

I’ll be “offline” for the next two weeks, meaning no weekend work and I’m looking forward to finishing things
that have been sitting too long, both personal and work related.

But I’ve got seventy-two hours to get through first.

Now to bide my time until the machines call me to say they’re broken.
mood: indifferent
music: King Diamond - The Candle
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Thursday, October 8th, 2009

100809 Day 4 of Captivity

One call at 02:00 that kept me up until 03:00. I put in best effort to continue my sleep like normal people get to but it was patchy.

Ops is falling behind and should’ve called earlier on some issues. In order to stem that off, I’ll be calling them every night at 20:00
to see if there’s anything looming that they’ve forgotten. It’s ridiculous but that’s what happens when a group’s ranks are thinned, poor performance
by even the good people that were spared.

Drown My Sorrows in Sauerkraut
My beer-spies report Hacker-Pschorr’s Oktoberfest beer [my fave Oktofest bier] didn’t make it to Dallas this year due to a reduced
shipment from Germany and those wanks in Houston kept what little came over, all to themselves.

Someone will pay for this, mark my words…

Now to bide my time until the machines call me to say they’re broken.
mood: devious
music: Holon - Binary Star
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Wednesday, October 7th, 2009

100709 Day 3 of Captivity

One call but it hit at the right time [between cycles] and I continued my sleep like normal people get to.

This was a down tempo day with busy work; nothing project heavy. This pace will pick up by the week’s end car-wrecking into
Saturday in which I expect to get pulled into the evening after the day crew says “¡No más!”.

Broke Data and Touch-Your-Crotchie both found they have microcode issues and that it will be next week when it’s ready.
This is really pushing against the deadline, which still could be made but there’s always something else InfiddleVestCorp’s
systems hit up against.

Now to bide my time until the machines call me to say they’re broken.
mood: contemplative
music: Bizarre X - Traeumer
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Tuesday, October 6th, 2009

100609 Day 2 of Captivity

No calls. I slept like normal people get to.

The issues with the new data replication method still go on with more testing and conjecturing. The problems center on a group of 5+ year-old boxes that should have been replaced three years ago. Anybody got a home for 28 terabytes of data?

Maybe it’s microcode. The obvious thing would be to replace the old boxes with newer ones –to match the rest of our boxes- that don’t have these problems. Touch-Your-Crotchie probably couldn’t build us new DASD with existing inventory. Maybe we’ll go Big Blue.

Anyway you look at it; changes are going to get slammed in. Glad I’m going to be “offline” for two weeks starting next week.

Overheard During Lunch at The Taj Mahal
“If you take five, it’s equal to a prescription dose.”

Now to bide my time until the machines call me to say they’re broken.
mood: beer & pizza
music: Uncelestial - Born With Lucifer's Mark
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Monday, October 5th, 2009

100509 Day 1 of Captivity

The high six-figure people are now engaged from Broke-data, Big Blue, Touch-Your-Crotchie and InfiddleVestCorp. Best brains being sent to one of the companies’ HQ in California in order to figure out what’s going on with project Paul-Tango-Raunchy.

The project has been going on for about six months now and with about three weeks until go-live do any of the vendors get serious about the problems. Then again, the project hasn’t been managed too well on the InfiddleVestCorp end.

The Devil’s Helper
Butch, the temp that’s shadowing me also gets to be on-call. He’s the one that didn’t know what the “windows key” was. Nice guy but he’s not going to be a heavy contributor and that’s ok, we need cannon-fodder as well. He’s only here for three months –barely time to learn the room numbers.

Miscellaneous - Non-work
Satannabis – one of the better band names I’ve heard in a while. Too bad they aren't as good as their name.

Now to bide my time until the machines call me to say they’re broken.
mood: sleepy
music: Nile - Iskander D'hul Karnon
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Sunday, October 4th, 2009

100409 Pre-Captivity Statement

I do not recommend a slice of cocoanut crème pie an hour before a workout but today’s blah gym session was due to running around a datacenter for nearly twelve hours the day before. Aside from weekend changes, project Paul-Tango-Raunchy hit fail mode –AGAIN. I had a sandwich with one beer for dinner and went to bed a little after 10pm -on a Saturday night. Low quality of life.

Tonight, I’ve got one more opportunity to have a good night’s sleep.

BeerDiablo is On-call Again, Starting Monday
I’m getting more aggressive in managing our Ops staff so I don’t get woken up for B.S. I have found discussing issues and setting expectations before bedtime makes life easier. No telling as I’m not sure if we’ve hit the bottom of the maelstrom just yet. Guaranteed hell any way you look at it, plus I’m being shadowed by a new hire that I probably won’t make suffer too bad.

The data replication part of Paul-Tango-Raunchy is hitting epic fail due to using 6+ year-old DASD boxes from Touch-Your-Crotchie-Corporation, who really isn’t on the ball. Hint: If you’re a hard, pipe-hitting mainframe shop, swap out the gear every 3-4 years as the boxes will be tired and probably not up to the new technical features despite microcode/feature development.

Let’s not even mention being on the cutting edge of extension/emulation between sites using Broke-data’s new switches. I think we’re on the third set of firmware developed due to problems we’ve had in which their product wasn’t ready for market.
mood: pessimistic
music: Haunted George - Hit you with a Hammer
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Friday, October 2nd, 2009

Come on 2010

Things have been a slow grisly, grinding affair for months now. Perhaps it would be classier to call it an intermittent death march?
October 24th – things are finally live for the new data replication design but the cutover from New England to Deep South is November but things are winding down.

I’m actually planning some fun – but it’s all in state, I don’t think I’ll be traveling far the rest of this year, although Ms.Ed tried to get me to go to Deep South for Oct.17th and 24th.

One problem: I’m OFFLINE on those weeks.

I enjoyed denying the request in front of the rest of the staff. Let them cover it, they’re “on-deck”. I suffer my turn and so shall they…
mood: busy
music: Chakal - Abominable Anno Domini
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